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Transgender Dystopia Blues

by Cluttered

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1.
Take Me Away 01:58
Burnt the roof of my mouth for the tenth time in a week The futures fading Everything’s so very bleak Skipping past the songs that remind me of you It’s been 6 months but I’m still stuck in June I’m left here with nothing but rotting memories and smoldering ashes Take me away I’m here left with nothing but rotting memories and smoldering ashes Take me away
2.
Despondent and inconsolable I cycle through these racing thoughts Engulf me Take me down Avoidant and unavoidable Repeatedly counting the seconds I have lost Misaligned from the body that I was born into Fighting for an upside Fighting to reform Misaligned from the body that I was born into Fighting for an upside Fighting to reform Fighting for an upside Fighting to reform Fighting for an upside Fighting to reform Fighting for an upside Fighting to reform Fighting for an upside Fighting to reform Fighting for an upside Fighting to conform
3.
Anchorless 02:35
They called here to tell me that you’re finally dying Through a veil of childish cries Southern Manitoba Prairies pulling at the Pant leg of your bad disguise So why were you so anchorless A boat abandoned in some backyard Anchorless Small town that you live and died in Shoebox full of photos Found a grainy mirror Sunken cheeks and slender hands Grocery lists and carbon copied Letters offer Silence for my small demands So how’d you get so Anchorless A boat abandoned in some backyard Anchorless Small town that you live and died in Got an armchair from your family home Got your phone woodhouse novels and your telephone Got your plates and stainless steel Got that way of never saying what you really feel So anchorless A boat abandoned in some backyard Anchorless Small town that you live and died in Don’t wanna live and die here Don’t wanna live and die here Where were Anchorless Anchorless Anchorless Small towns that we lived and died in
4.
Keep towing the thin thin line of the space between Being a doormat and losing everyone and everything When nobody seems to get why your building walls And pushing them away Words don’t help when you’ve got nothing left to say So let it all out If I could just hold my breath and count backwards from the end of this muddled message and this heart broken statement I would spend less time endlessly beating myself to death Just to claw and scratch my way back up again I’m out of apologies Twiddle my thumbs until they bleed The city landscape tries to change And I don’t even know your name Echos in my head on loop Because we both know the truth Just want to feel the same Every seasons melting brain Echos in my head on loop Because we both know the truth Just want to feel the same Every seasons melting brain I’m out of apologies Twiddle my thumbs until they bleed The city landscape tries to change And I don’t even know your nam

about

Sometimes reflection is a blessing and a curse.
Looking backwards to past pitfalls only to move forward and make the same mistakes.

On "Transgender Dystopia Blues", your favorite queer-punk-pop band, Cluttered reflect openly on heartbreak, gender dysphoria and the bleak loneliness of existing in a crumbling cityscape to try and find a bright side when it feels like there is nothing left to hope for

credits

released October 6, 2022

Engineered by Cluttered, June-September 2022
Mixed by Dylan Mombourquette, September 2022
Mastered by Dave Williams @ Eight Floors Above, September 2022
Art by Angoisse
Additional Assistance by Don Levandier

Guest Vocals on 'Anchorless' by Sean MacGillivray (He/Him)

Cluttered are:

Matty Grace (She/They)
Becca Dalley (She/They)
AJ Boutilier (He/Him)
Dylan Mombourquette (He/Him)

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Cluttered Halifax, Nova Scotia

cluttered are:
Matty (she/they)
Becca (she/they)
AJ (he/him)
Dylan (he/him)

ACAB forever

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